Twisted Ear
Los Campesinos - Romance Is Boring
Written by Laura Prior   
Los Campesinosone and a half stars Something they seem to know a lot about

Imaginary Los Campesinos! Playlist 

1. Here Comes The First Track, Better Make It Good.
2. Heres a Faster Number For The Second.
3. Fromily Had a Twitter, But Then She Deleted it Because Her Mother Started Drinking Too Much in the Daytime.
4. Im Wondering What My Body Would Look Like From Space, Hurtling Towards The Sun in One of Those Panda Hats Katy Perry Wears.
5. Oh, My Jedward Head! (Flaming Lips 88-92 Would Not Have Passed The X-Factor Audition Stage). Happy Hanukah, Sebastian! 

Twee, if it ever was, is no longer a term of endearment. It's a word to describe knobs wearing expensive glasses and designer cardigans, trying too hard to pretend they're troubled and have no friends. If you want to describe it less brutally, Belle & Sebastian opened and closed the book (then Put the Book Back on the Shelf – hahahah, yes! Score) on twee. Loadsa members, songs about songs, songs with the band in the lyrics, interesting release patterns, subtle Jesus-humping lyrics, riding on City buses for a hobby being sad, etc. They arent even that twee…really. Well, maybe they are a bit.  

The main difference between them and Los Campesinos! is that you can listen to more than 4 minutes of their music without wanting to batter them all. Theyre so self-aware, its like being in a really shit Dawsons Creek episode written by a bunch of 3rd Year Film Studies students holding a John Peel tribute night in a mansion.  

Romance is Boring is another LP, or EP, or TWAT (The War Against Twee) attack by the opposition. Its chock full of the usual shite. Little tries at Pavement (This is a Flag. There is no Wind), Arab Strap (The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future), Art Brut (the sing-shouty delivery of every word). Songs about drinking stolen vodka, space, indie boys having breakdowns in Rough Trade, or whatever else it is they sing about when Hefner have turned off their anti-plagiarism programming. Its like being on a student bus for an hour with a bunch of twats wearing flatcaps, shouting self-consciously about Haruki Murakami and their parents divorces.  

The instrumentals and xylophones build up as usual, songs try so hard to get to the next point they prematurely begin somewhere in the middle of the next song, then revert back, then give up. Then the next song starts. It’s enough to endure a really MASSIVE brain tumour. 

Its got the same interludes as with every LC! Song, where the music parts so they can shout stuff in unison, in a really sarky way about other people being rubbish. Its hard to give a shit that some anorexic bird in a flowing dress and flowery hairband called Dominique or Poppy, or something, wont nut him. The only positive lyrics seem to be about the band themselves, and how perceptive and ironic and sneering they are about everything.  

I Warned You Not to Make an Enemy of Me”, is anything off Forward Russia’s Give me a Wall reimagined by hipster beanie babies. Its not very scary. “I warned you, don’t make an enemy of me!” Hahaha, alright son!  


Now, I
m sure less-discerning indie fans will lap this up and think its really witty and definitive. Im 24 years-old. Im too long in the tooth to be moved by lyrics like “every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro-footballer”. It’s bullshit. So much is made of bands you can “believe” in. I understand this more after listening to Romance is Boring. I cannot believe in a note of this.

Release Date: 1st February 2010

Label: Wichita
Artist Website: www.loscampseinos.com

Comments:
Los Campesinos - Romance Is Boring
...............    February 8th, 2010 - 11:44 AM


I joined purely to point out the idiocy in letting somebody review an album by a band that they are obviously so prejudiced against.

Judging by the quality of the writing and the irrelevant comparison to Hefner (to point out a couple of issues) she has obviously spent far more time coming up with an imaginary playlist in an attempt to be witty than actually listening to the record or developing some serious opinions about it...   
Re: Los Campesinos - Romance Is Boring
jimboo    February 16th, 2010 - 8:14 PM
Welcome , yep it is one of them reviews when you think , well that the reviewer thinks they are a world weary muso , seen it all and heard it too. Awful review , just think before you type. Woeful.

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